It was around 2005. Out of guilt, I had popped in 30 pills. I had lost consciousness. When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital. My parents and the dean of my college were beside me. I was ashamed to the core then. The way things turned out in the engineering days had driven me to depression and hence this.
The way I was raised, discipline, and strictness seemed to be an integral part of my life. My parents were always concerned about my studies more than me. I even clearly remember, my mom waking me up at 4:30 in the morning before my board exams. They systematically maintained everything to ensure I did well in life.
In 2002, I entered an engineering college in Mangalore. Being away from home and disciplined life, I tasted the freedom and wanted to do the things of my own accord. I guess this took a toll on me. I developed some habits like smoking and drinking. This affected my health and studies. Things started falling apart and became worst when I failed in six subjects of the third and fourth semesters. I was so much scared that I couldn’t even tell this to my parents. Remembering their expectations made me feel numb and full of guilt. I was aware if I didn’t clear those exams, I would have lost a year.
After that, I just told my parents that I had failed 3 papers. I also assured them that I would clear them soon. Unfortunately, it hadn’t happened that way. One day, this drove me insane and I took 30 pills. The next thing I can recall, I had found myself in hospital, with my parents and dean beside me.
My parents were informed what had happened exactly. Already a year of my engineering was lost. They took me back to Mumbai. They were concerned about my problem and hence took me to the counseling sessions.
When I was back on my feet, it was time to appear for revaluation and clear the failed papers. Out of touch, I was just shivering from inside. “Will I be able to clear them? What if I fail” these lines kept coming to my mind over and over again. And it was then, my father said – “Son, you can do it but only if you try! And you have not lost until you have another chance”. Those words hit me hard. I saw a newfound resolution to give all my efforts and clear the engineering.
My hard work paved off. I cleared all my backs and even got a distinction in my final year. I was so happy… I MADE IT! After that, I returned to Mumbai in search of a Job and got placed in a good company. Well, the best thing happened a couple of years later, when I joined my dream company in 2016. I wasn’t able to make it into the company earlier because of a year’s loss in my engineering. But then, that I had made it I was on cloud nine.
A lot has happened after that. Currently, I am working as a senior project manager. Besides that, since 2015, I have been into public speaking. I have earned a lot of accolades by playing many major roles in Toastmasters. I have learnt a lot of things, won many titles but still, I feel there is a long road yet to cover.
Now I am a father myself. It’s a little embarrassing that I had continued my smoking habit after my engineering. When I became a dad in 2020, I quit doing it. I don’t want my bad habit to affect my kid. He is so precious and so is my family. From the values that I have received from my parents, I make sure I always keep my family along.
Total Work Experience : 13.5 Years (LNT INFOTECH)